One of the great lessons on a spiritual path is balancing what seems to be a profound paradox. We gradually “get it” that we are all ultimately ONE being, emanating from the same Source. However, at the same time we are obviously in separate bodies, with individual minds and destinies. How can we be inclusive of the oneness we share with every living being, yet not intrusive in the sense of interfering or inappropriately trying to save, control or influence them in some way?
We know we are here to be of service, to love and help one another. Yet we also come to know that each person’s relationship with Source/God and their own path to At-One-Ment is ultimately their own spiritual business. Spiritual growth challenges us to respect each person’s path. In the same way that life throws up lessons and growth opportunities for us, life offers the same opportunity to everyone else.
Intrusion and Interference
Several times in my life I have realised that the underlying issue behind instances which bothered me was one of interference or intrusion. This could be on my part or someone else’s. This could be unsolicited advice. It may include indulging in, or listening to gossip, especially when it came to details about people’s private lives.
It could even include witnessing, or doing myself, actions that were meant kindly and with the best of intentions. However they could still be disrespectful of other people’s free will. Example include being over-zealous to convert people to my world view or correct their “misguided” (from my perspective!) thinking. Or assuming that I knew what was best for someone else better than they did themselves. For a while I did not cop on to why this was so important, at least for me.
Minding my own spiritual business
If I truly respect the Self-sovereignty of every living being, I would not intrude on them in any way. I would respect their choices and free will, and would also respect my right not to allow them to intrude on me. It would mean minding my own spiritual business.
Of course in the context of parenting or the duty of care in an educational or similar context, or in the face of actions that are dangerous or harmful, it may be necessary to correct behavior. In the context of everyday life, however, it is not my business to mind other people’s business!
I would be willing to help and be of service, to be inclusive, but at the same time would not be intrusive by doing anything for another that they could more usefully do for themselves. This reminds me of what Maria Montessori, who started the educational system which bears her name, called her War of Independence: “never do anything for a child which he is capable of doing for himself.”
Spiritual Ethics
From my perspective on this, this has become a yardstick for me, a sort of practical spiritual ethics. After all, if I was fully in my own power and wished the same for others, would this not influence my concepts of “helping”, of “teaching”, of being a parent?
Can I have the wisdom to know when the help I offer is truly empowering others? Is it facilitating them in finding the keys to their own kingdom rather than intruding under the guise of helping? Can I have the integrity, as my higher senses awaken, not to intrude into others’ space? Can I have the sensitivity to go only where invited? This does not mean that I will not be aware of people’s energies. However it does mean that I respect their right to privacy.
Can I be direct and honest, not resorting to sarcasm or “I was only joking” when I don’t have the courage to speak directly? Can I encourage people to find their own source of guidance within themselves? Rather than fostering even the subtlest levels of dependency on any external teacher?
Can I respect people’s decisions to make what seem, to me, to be mistakes, and not try to “rescue” them? Do I expect other people to make me happy, to fulfil my needs, to carry me?
Inclusive but not intrusive
In a profound sense, any type of intrusion has a ring of non-truth about it. It is based on a premise of separation or scarcity or lack of power. This leads to power struggles of one kind or another.
The truth is that we are sovereign beings in our own right. The unity to which we all aspire lies at the level of our Source. Even when in individual manifestation we are, of course, always within Source. However, our purpose in entering manifestation is to explore diversity.
Each manifestation of this diversity is sovereign in its own right. Ideally it draws its sustenance from the Source whence it came. It does not feel the need to be dependent on its fellow dancers in the dance of creation. Issues of the victim/victimizer blame game, guilt, exploitation, control, arrogance, all carry aspects of intrusion.
At the level of true inclusiveness, the ONE Source, there is freedom, respect, humility and self-responsibility. Sound familiar? These are among the attitudes of mastery.
These days, my frequent question to myself when sensing the appropriateness of an action or attitude, is: how can I be inclusive but not intrusive? How can I acknowledge the oneness I share with this person or situation and yet also acknowledge their divine sovereignty? For me, I feel that there are profound lessons here about the nature of love and power.
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