Radical Forgiveness

January 11, 2024

Rose Tobin

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What can Radical Forgiveness Do for You?

“Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.” C.S.Lewis. Most of us regard forgiveness as something worthy and desirable. But how do you go about forgiving when you are upset or resentful? That was my quandary in 2013. I had been through a difficult situation in a group setting. Although I had got as far as recognizing that there were lessons for me in what had happened, I didn’t quite know where to go from there. That is when Radical Forgiveness entered my life.

As you may have noticed in your own life, the challenge with forgiveness is twofold. Firstly, while you may want to forgive, you don’t always know how. Secondly, people often think that, if they forgive someone, they are condoning wrongdoing or letting the other person off the hook.

When the Student is Ready

The student (me) must have been ready because that when the Radical Forgiveness book and teacher arrived into my life. I had downloaded an audiobook of Colin Tipping reading from his book “Radical Forgiveness” and was listening to it on the way to meeting a friend for coffee.

Difficulties Happen FOR us, not TO us

There I was driving along Foster’s Avenue in Dublin on an autumn day, listening to Colin. Among other things, he was saying that the harsh, cruel, challenging things that seem to happen to us in life are, in reality, happening for us. That idea, per se, wasn’t new to me, but I liked the way he put it.

But this is where he really got my attention! He talked about tools that could act as a bridge between the human part of me that was confused and hurt and my spiritual intelligence which perfectly understood the big picture. Then he talked me through one of those tools, the 13 Steps to Radical Forgiveness. I could feel a shift immediately. I began to feel peace, calm and acceptance. What was even more remarkable for me was a natural and much kindlier attitude towards those whom I had resented for wronging me. All this in less than 10 minutes!

Within a week, I had enrolled in Radical Forgiveness coach training. I knew that this was part of my life’s work. Over the years, I have seen people I’ve worked with make profound changes while coming to a much deeper understanding of themselves and their soul’s purpose.

Colin and JoAnn Tipping

Radical Forgiveness is a concept and framework developed by Colin and JoAnn Tipping.

Rose on a training course with Colin and JoAnn

Radical Forgiveness was developed by Colin and JoAnn Tipping. It’s an approach to forgiveness that goes beyond traditional notions of forgiveness. At the same time, it offers a new perspective on healing and releasing emotional pain.

Colin used to say that it doesn’t matter how many meditations we’ve done or books we’ve read. If we’re carrying around resentment and anger and not doing anything about it, it’s difficult to grow in an authentic and balanced way. We’ve got too much baggage.

RF helps us to grow spiritually by releasing the baggage that keeps us from growing. That baggage is part of the material that gives us the spiritual growth we’re looking for. RF can therefore assist in accelerating our spiritual growth.

Radical Forgiveness is not just about pardoning or letting go of grievances. Rather, it involves a deeper understanding of life events and how they can contribute to personal growth and transformation

The Key Principles of Radical Forgiveness Include:

The Spiritual Perspective: Radical Forgiveness suggests that everything that happens in our lives is part of a higher spiritual plan. Even events that seem unjust or painful are seen as opportunities for growth and learning.
Victimland and the Victim Triangle: We often play roles of the victim, persecutor, or rescuer in different life situations. Radical Forgiveness encourages individuals to recognize these roles and transcend them to find peace, and achieve a higher level of awareness.

Interviews about Radical Forgiveness

A few years ago, Dr Misty Funk invited me, Rose, to discuss Radical Forgiveness with her in the context of her own program on forgiveness. Once we got started, we realized that it would be even more helpful to do three sessions!

Combined, these sessions provide a comprehensive overview of how Radical Forgiveness can be applied in many challenging life situations. Our relationships with others and ourselves, as well as our interpretations of life events, all benefit.

Each interview includes an experience of the one of the 13 Steps to RF. These are audio processes which you just have to listen to and say “yes” when prompted, and are explained in each session.

Forgiving Others

Here we discussed general principles of Radical Forgiveness and what it can do for you if you feel stuck in grievances and resentments. Includes the 13 Steps for Radical Forgiveness.

Self Forgiveness

Many people find it harder to forgive themselves than others. Includes the 13 Steps for Radical Self-Forgiveness

Forgiving Life Circumstances

Looking at difficult life circumstances from the perspective of our Spiritual Intelligence and Soul’s purpose. Discussion of various RF processes. The 4 Steps for Radical Forgiveness, a brief process that you can easily memorize and bring to mind when something upsets or triggers you. The 13 Steps for Radical Transformation.

Presentation on Forgiveness and Lovingkindness

This is a recording of a recent presentation on forgiveness and loving-kindness. Those attending had been part of a spiritual group where there had been, and still is in some cases, a lot of friction, name-calling and division.

We look at the dynamics at play in terms of what happens in any group where people are not owning their own power. And we explored how authentic forgiveness can assist us in being willing to acknowledge that these difficult situations are huge growth opportunities.

As part of the session, we also experienced one of the RF processes, the 13 Steps for RF.

The Five Stages of Radical Forgiveness

All RF processes take us through these five stages:

Telling the Story: Acknowledging the pain and suffering caused by a particular event or situation.
Having your victim storied witnessed, by yourself or by a coach.
Feeling the Feelings: Allowing yourself to feel the emotions associated with the event, without judgment.
Collapsing the Story: Recognizing that the story you’ve been telling yourself about the event is just one perspective among many.
Reframing the Story: Consider the event from a spiritual perspective, viewing it as an opportunity for growth.
Integration: Anchoring the shift from blame to peace by doing something physical: writing, using the voice, art. This ensures that the shift is not merely an intellectual idea, which in itself is not lasting.

Presentation: The Five Stages of RF and the Radical Forgiveness Worksheet

This is a follow-up to the session above. First, we looked at the Five Stages of RF. We then explored in detail the RF Worksheet, one of the foundational tools of this system.

The worksheet can be downloaded here https://members.radicalforgiveness.org/free-tools/

Your Ticket out of Victimland

If you’re feeling out of balance, trapped, or experiencing emotional pain, and are looking for a way to move forwards, Radical Forgiveness offers powerful tools that will help you to transform your emotions and, in turn, your life.

As a result, it can enable you to understand your feelings, and uncover the beliefs, perceptions and behavior that have been keeping you stuck. Consequently, through shifting your energies from anger and blame to forgiveness and responsibility, you’ll be able to see things from a healthier perspective, not the limiting one of being a victim.

Radical Forgiveness offers a way to release deep-seated pain and resentment. At the same time, it empowers us to view challenging life events as opportunities for spiritual evolution.

Resources

To conclude, the great gift of RF is that it provides practical tools and resources that are truly transformational. For a selection of free tools that can get you started on your RF journey, visit the RF website at https://members.radicalforgiveness.org/free-tools/.

The website also offers blogs, training programs, a list of RF coaches and much more! https://radicalforgiveness.org/

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