by mac
Allowance is a powerful concept that can transform our interactions and deepen our spiritual practice. It invites us to accept and understand the differences in others without immediate judgment or the need to change them. Allowance is an incredible tool for finding peace in our lives. Recently, I manifested an experience that gave me a real challenge to practice Allowance.
The Principle of Non-Attachment
Central to the practice of allowance is the principle of non-attachment. Non-attachment, a key concept in many spiritual traditions, teaches us to relinquish our rigid expectations and judgments. It encourages us to release our need to control or change others and to remain open to different perspectives. This mindset allows us to approach interactions with an open heart and mind, reducing conflict and fostering understanding.
The Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh explains, “Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.” By embracing non-attachment, we free ourselves from the stress and frustration that often accompany our desire to change others.
The Encounter
Last week, while I was at the mailbox, my neighbor approached me. He was a bit tipsy and eager to chat. Normally, I avoid interactions with him because our political views and life philosophies are light years apart. However, this time, there was no avoiding the conversation.
For the next 20 minutes, I listened to a monologue filled with racial epithets and political views that were offensive to most principles I consider core to my beliefs. I’ve had many discussions with him about my viewpoints in the past, but engaging with him while he was drinking seemed like a waste of time. Instead, I chose to listen and practice allowance.
The Power of Allowance
Allowance doesn’t mean agreeing with or condoning harmful views or behaviors. It’s about acknowledging the right of others to hold their perspectives, even if they clash with our own. This can be incredibly challenging when those views are offensive or hurtful.
Practicing allowance meant controlling my urge to argue or correct my neighbor in this encounter. It allowed me to maintain my peace and composure, essential in any spiritual practice. As spiritual author Wayne Dyer said, “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” By choosing allowance, I took responsibility for my reaction and maintained my inner balance.
Lessons Learned
- Listening Without Judgment: Allowing someone to express themselves without immediately judging or correcting them can open the door to deeper understanding. It doesn’t mean we agree, but it shows respect for their right to speak.
- Maintaining Inner Peace: Reacting with anger or frustration only disturbs our own peace. As Eckhart Tolle reminds us, “Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” By practicing allowance, we avoid unnecessary conflict and preserve our inner harmony.
- Choosing Our Battles: Not every situation requires a response. Sometimes, the best action is inaction. Engaging in a heated debate with someone who isn’t in a state to listen or understand can be futile. Allowance helps us discern when to speak and when to stay silent.
We are All Just Travelers on the Path
Practicing allowance is a journey towards greater empathy and understanding. It doesn’t mean we accept or tolerate harmful behavior, but it helps us navigate difficult interactions with grace and composure. In our spiritual journey, allowance can be a tool to maintain our peace and cultivate compassion for others, even those we disagree with.
The words of spiritual teacher Ram Dass always had a deep impact on me: “We’re all just walking each other home.” By practicing allowance, we can make that journey a little more peaceful for everyone involved.
Feel free to share your thoughts and experiences with allowance in the comments below. We can all learn from each other.
